You won’t be able to move forward in your relationship unless you free yourself from that moment. Let it go.
When a woman finds out her lover is cheating, it’s devastating. It
can leave you in a deep depression and could possibly lead to substance
abuse. It’s hard to accept because the new finding is so abrupt and
comes so suddenly. You begin to call the other woman a slut, trash and
even blame her for the infidelity.
When my husband began his cheating ways, I blamed it on everything
but me. I remember when I found out who the ‘slut’ was. I was hurt and
devastated mostly by how she look. I felt she didn’t look better than
me, she wasn’t educated like me and most of all she was ugly… at least
to me. I thought over and over “Why she?’, ‘Why did he cheated on me
with her?’.
I vowed to get back and my journey began. I found myself returning to
the old things I use to do. I went to the nail shop, I went to the hair
dresser and I changed my wardrobe. I then realized that maybe because I
neglected these things before, my lover looked at another woman who
didn’t neglect her appearance. The other woman was actually nice looking
and I felt like she was the totally opposite of me. I guess I assumed
he’d understand that I didn’t get my hair fixed because I was at home
cooking and cleaning for HIM all day. But, though I did
all these things, my man was still messing around. I would be at home
dressed up, calling him on the phone, cursing him out about not being
home.
One day his phone ranged and I answered it. The person said nothing
as I continued to say hello. Then the phone hung up. I called the number
back and the saga began. She told me basically everything I wanted to
know and some that I didn’t want to hear. As she pierced my heart with
all the times my man was with her and all the things he bought her, my
mind began to travel back. I thought back to the times when I thought I
heard him talking on the phone in the other room. I later found out he
would be on the phone for hours with her and sometimes I was with him.
Everything quickly began to add up and answers filled the suspicions.
When we would argue I begun to listen to what he said instead of
defend myself against everything he said. When he said I fussed to much,
he was tired of me nagging, I stopped fussing and nagging him. I
stopped calling the other woman and cursing her out all day. I began
calling him asking him what he wanted for dinner. I stopped letting the
other woman take control of my entire day.
The biggest part was forgiving him for cheating and letting it go.
You will always think about the times he cheated and you will always
feel like you never deserved it. You can allow your mind and all your
energy to constantly return to that devastating time over and over until
you find yourself stuck right there. You won’t be able to move forward
in your relationship unless you free yourself from that moment. Let it
go.
I realized I had to joggle my many roles in life. I’m a mother,
sister, lover, daughter and aunt. I put all these roles in their proper
place. When I deal with my man, I’m his lover and friend, I don’t need
to be in the mother mode. I bought some sexy underwear, sweet smelling
perfume, and I got a manicure. I started wearing sexy appealing clothes
that kept my man watching me. I made breakfast every morning and I fixed
dishes that had him licking the plate. It wasn’t long before my man was
home every night and the other woman was a thing of the past.
READ THE SEVEN WAYS AFTER THE CUT
Angel Ufuoma
